:(

:(
my internet has been down recently and i havent' been checking my email.
i got 100 over nus emial to check and 40 over from my normal mail. all that junk! :(
been doing nothing much during the week anyway.
i've been draining all my energy both physically and emotionally.
it's a very very bad week.

so yes. i need to get down to studying and doing my reading and my homework.
time just seems to fly by when we need it the most.
this friday my soci is due. next wednesday is my southeast asian fieldtrip report and the following wednesday is my southeast asian essay.
this would then officially mark the end of my mid terms and the finals will be here before i know it.
DAMNIT!

leroy's not well and my grandparents are being such idiots.
I CAN'T STAND THEM ANYMOREEEEE.
and spca isn't being anything near compassionate.
PFFFFFFFT!

living behind that facade

ugly inside and outside.

the past week has been a very emotionally drained one for me.
one. the singapore society project i'm doing with char made me see the superficiality of the world.
it's sad. yes. very depressing.
because people are judged for how they look and the size they wear.
not only in the social sense but in the economic one as well - this human nature eats into the people around, so employment opportunities are affect. it's a very vicious cycle.
my 3115 word essay has opened my eyes to the world and how it affects every individual and how it eats into us, making us believe in what the masses want us to believe it.
two. i'm trying to erase all the hurt and pain that i'm feeling inside.
events of similar occurance just keeps re-enacting itself. it's sad.
i scream and shout for it to leave me alone. i cry myself to sleep.
yet, it just won't go away. i've tweeked the way i think, the way i feel.
i've accepted the way the world is, i've accepted the way our generation is.
but can i ever be like it? will i ever be able to fit in?
is life really worth the pain and trouble anymore?
i don't mind being defiant to the ways of the world, but it's tiring no?
when everyone is against you and you have no one to turn to.
i feel lonely. i feel alone in this war.

but i'm stronger than before. i'll survive this war.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, MY SWEET LOVES! :D

other than that, my week has been very hectic.
i know i usually write up my blog in detail but due to the lack of a mood and limited time, i shall be concised.
sunday: lunch with charissa! (: went to buy fossil watch. had sakae for lunch. went undies shopping with charissa. haha. she found it amusing. bought new sunnies. had famour amos. bought 2 new shorts. she got a top. home sweet home.
monday: went to school for singapore society project. went to collect my arts pageant prize. i got a light box and a 2 day 1 night stay in a deluxe room at radius international hotel, kl. went to jurong point with ade! (: we got AIRBRUSH TATTOOS! headed to her house for shirlene's lasagna. it was lovely.
tuesday: went back to school for singapore society tutorial in the morning. lunch. geog tutorial. met charmaine and worked on our 3000word essay from 4 to 10pm in school. we were going cranky. went home and worked on it further.
wednesday: southeast asian lecture. lunch and singapore society project. went for half of soci lecture. headed down to hendon camp for pick babee up! WELCOME HOME DAHLING! (:
thursday: project meeting in the afternoon to finish up conclusion. southeast asian tutorial. my project is traditional courtship methods in southeast asia (: met love for dinner at the prata place. roamed around west mall. stayed up till 5.30am doing the last bit of singapore society essay. the official title: The Skinny on Beauty - the mass media's influence on Singapore society.
i'm so proud of myself, i thought of that title at 4am in the morning. gosh.
friday: slept for only 2 hours. headed to school zombified to submit my paper. hooray. it's over. skipped lectures cos i was too damn tired. rested. rented death note 2 and eternal sunshine of the spotless mind to watch with dahling. dinner. home. emotional trauma. i can't remember anything.

i swear i'm going crazy.

a quickie

WELCOME HOME MARC DAHLING! (:

happy girlfriend day

yesterday was my self declared HAPPY GIRLFRIEND DAY! (:
haha. i spent more or less all my time awake at ade's place (:
we intended to sleep in yesterday but for some strange reason, both of us didn't!
i woke up at 8.30am and she woke up at 9.20am. haha.
ate, lazed around our house.
we were supposed to go tanning by her pool but it started pouring at my house.
then it stopped, then i started pouring at her house. then it stopped and started pouring at my house again.
so i braved the rain and just trooped to her house.
haha. we watched this damn funny hongkong drama at her place and played with her sexy as well (:
haha. shirlene went for dinner. aunty&uncle yeong went to town area.
so my girlfriend and i were left to fend for ourselves. haha.
headed to holland village and had sushie teh for dinner. yum yum (:
headed over to nydc later on to have the mudpies of our own.
i had the cookie monster mudpie and she had the bailey's one! (:
haha. yes we're the most gluttony pair you can find.
walked around hoping to digest some food. haha.
we did a survey for our juniors in pjc. haha. damn sad. we lied.
we had to be smokers for that few minutes. we didn't smoke!!
we got matching bangles from Lim's living. haha.
headed back to her house and watched deathnote. haha. i love that show.
i can't wait to watch deathnote part 2 when i got the time.
shucks. why didn't i catch it in the cinemas. haha.
so yes. went home around 11pm (:
thankyou uncle yeong for sending me home and the dinner (:

so much was my day spent with my girlfriend (:

the "bloggable" day

before i start my post proper,
selamat hari raya aidilfitri! (:
to all my muslim friends! (:
have a happy happy holiday and enjoy feasting with your family and your loved ones! (:

indeed according to adelele, yesterday was a "bloggable day".
first, we were early for geog lecture but eventually ended up late cos she wanted to head to burger king to get her hershey's sundae pie and a cup of milo for the breakfast.
so while she's eating till her heart's content in lecture, i was well, tired.
haha. we were sorta online shopping cos we had no clue what the lecturer was talking about.
he was jumping around the A level syllabus. it's time to dig out those geog notes!
headed to the grinning gecko to sit around for a while then to the central library to do my geog project.
OHMYGOODNESS. the process of doing the geography project almost took the life out of me!
it's horrid.
rebecca and i skipped singapore society lecture and sacrificed my lunch (i had a dao sa pao and becca had a chocolate waffle) just so we could work on that project for 5 hours straight. my brain's dying.
I WANT TO RANT! but it's not very nice. just please please please don't change anything that we've put our painstaking effort into doing. if you don't like the way it's done, say so! don't change it after we've sent them out! it's unfair. seriously. spending 5 hours in changi airport and that 5 hours even sacrificing our lectures! PLEASE STOP IT!

after which, lele and i ATTEMPTED to flag a cab to get to town.
goodness me, we were 2 hours late.
cos we waited for the cab outside eusoff hall along the main road for 40mins before giving up and taking a 151 to bukit timah just so that we could get a cab from there.
there was a couple who wanted to share a cab with us but there was no cab.
so they took the bus with us as well.
FINALLY we got a cab at bukit timah. yayness to the uncle!
SORRY JESS AND SHERILYN! we didn't mean to be late.
we wanted to eat at the balcony at the heeren but there were no more spaces at the "non-smoking" area, so we headed to vil'age.
i had mushroom&cheese crepe, sherilyn&jess had the ham&cheese crepe while ade had a mushroom soup&pizza!
since sherilyn was the birthday girl she decided to take photos in black&white and sepia only. so yeah. hah.
we took more than 50 retarded photos together. haha.
yes we're damn crazy.

going totally crazy at vil'age! hah.
the birthday girl decided that we wanted to get starbucks coffee.
haha. 2 java chips and 2 caramel frappacino for the 4 of us!
ade had good news for us. since she dropped political science, she only has lessons on odd week thursdays from 6-8pm (:
you know what that means? SHERILYN SOH! WE CAN FINALLY GO TO MAMBO TOGETHER! (: we've been talking about it since we were 18 and now we're like 19!

starbucks! haha.

girlfriend and i were being super retarded!
we waited for the 171 at the orchard mrt station for a pretty long time (three 190s went by and no 171s) until we figured that we probably wouldn't get a seat on the bus. haha.
PLUS we were damn freaking tired.
so we took a train to cityhall to take the bus from esplanade just to ensure we get our seats.
we saw about 10 super pretty tall models! (:
and waited for our bus for a terribly long time - but there was going to be seats!
we got our bus in the end and started going crazy on the bus cos of lack of oxygen to the brain. haha.
and i waited damn long for my 75 from the shell station. it was irritating.
home sweet home.
just when i wanted to plomp onto my bed and sleep, i had geog to do.
i only had 5 hours of sleep. this has been my life for about a month :(


YES, THIS IS OUR TRUE COLOURS! but we love each other! <3

hillsongs - still

because i know that i can do all things through God who strengthens me (:

SURVEYS

heyhey! (:

i would need your help both guys and girls (:
i'm doing a singapore society project on is skinny equivalent to beautiful in singapore's society?
is it a trend or is it culture?
what's the main cause of this popculture?

for the ladies, please CLICK HERE to take the survey! (:

for the guys, please CLICK HERE to take the survey! (:

thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou! (:

a friend in need is a friend indeed. HELP!

o town - all or nothing

HAPPY 500TH POST! (:
my blog goes way back to my secondary school days! (: haha. memories.

i always believed that i can always find a song that suits my every mood every step of my life.
just when i thought i couldn't this time round,
i've found one.
it doesn't entirely express how i'm feeling,
but parts of the song's just makes pefect sense.

i know when he's been on your mind that distant look is in your eye
i thought with time you'd realize it's over over
it's not the way i choose to live
and something somewhere's got to give
as sharing this relationship
gets older older

you know i'd fight for you
but how i can fight someone who isn't even there
i've had the rest of you
now I want the best of you
i dont care if that's not fair

cause I want it all or nothing at all
there's no where left to fall when you reach the bottom
it's now or never
is it all or are we just friends
is this how it ends with a simple telephone call
you leave me here with nothing at all

there are times it seems to me i'm sharing you with memories
i feel it in my heart
but i dont show it show it
and then there's times you look at me
as though I'm all that you can see those times
I don't believe it's right i know know it

don't me make me promises
baby, you never did know how to keep them well
i've had the rest of you
now I want the best of you it's time for show and tell


i am going on a haitus due to all the tests and assignments coming up.
sociology test on wednesday.
geography due next monday
and singapore society due next friday.
tonnes of work. not enough time.

an eye-opener.

before i start my entry proper, DO I LOOK LIKE HER?
according to adelele, marcus and a whole lot of other people, we look damn alike to the extent they get us mixed up.
BUT we've sat down together and looked at each other and we don't think we look alike!
what say you?


this is the file that professor T.C Chang gave to me during the geography fieldtrip about a week ago. HAHA.
i love it! (: it says "i love africa" and "we're going to paris".
it's damn geographical, very apt i must say (:

anyway, yesterday's southeast asia tutorial was a very very interesting one (:
i enjoyed it very muchly.
it's about magic, religion and the supernatural of southeast asia.
despite me freaking myself out, i admit it was a great eye-opener.
reminds me of certain stuff that i experienced as a child and up to a few years back.
this girl once said that she dreamt/saw the devil himself.
i, on the other hand, i saw an angel.
thank goodness! my babee's group of friends in thailand with him decided that they felt like eating canteen food for dinner yesternight.
so they brisked walk with the 40kg fieldpack on their backs :( poorboy.
but i was relieved it happened after what i heard in southeast asia tutorial.


the story of "friday morning" goes like this.. (it's a myth - so they say)
a long time ago in one of the islamic countryies, legends says that there was a prince who learnt the magic of shapeshifting, meaning that his spirit could leave his body and take the form of another being.
he eventually mastered the skill and shapeshifted into a bird.
his servant saw this happening one day, and he shapeshifted into the prince's body.
the prince found out of what had happened when he wanted to go back into his original body.
he told his wife about it and the wife murdered the body of the servant and seduced him into coming out of the prince's body.
after it happened, the prince went back into his body and the servant's spirit was left with no where to go.
so it's spoken that the servan'ts spirit travels the world and takes the form of human bodies and destroys them internally on every thursday night.
so why thursday night when the legend is called "friday morning"?
because, according to the islamic calendar (and correct me if i'm wrong cos i heard this from an islamic friend in my tutorial class) that the start of friday morning begins on thursday night after the sunsets.


i told baby the story last night when i was talking to him on the phone.
i was so freaking myself out. and i was scaring him by telling him of the stories i heard in class.
according to legends, human sacrifice has to be made in order to keep a building stable.
and the more brtual and cruel the death, the better cos the spirit is said to be angered and will guard the building better.

these are just a few interesting things i learnt in lessons.

i suddenly felt this appreciation of arts and social sciences. it's not that i didn't in the beginning, i did and i always did. it's just that it's exceptional today.
thinking of all the other courses like engineering, science, business, design environment, computing (NO OFFENCE TO THE PEOPLE IN THESE COURSES), do you guys study stuffs like these. like these stuff that won't help us much in life but it's just interesting? enlighten me.


today, geography lecture was about climate and the atmosphere.
it's amazing i still can remember how to draw my geometry of the earth and sun diagram in detail (: haha. i'm so proud of myself (:
had lunch with ade, marcus and eunice (:
they're a bunch of funny people. people came and went because they had lecture here and there.
and guess who i saw today. haha.
i saw alywin oh after like so damn long! (:
i think i haven't seen him in a month or something. hahaha.
ade saw him downstairs and brought him upstairs to say hello.
he sat down for a while and had to leave. haha. that's our mr arts/nus for you!
headed home to rest cos i was damn sick today.
i was sneezing before reaching school till my eyes were watery and red and my nose was as red as rudolph's and what not.
my throat was croaking like a toad's as well. it was horrible.


as i was complaining about the weather today, it suddenly dawned upon me that i shouldn't be complaining at all.
in fact i should THANK GOD for sunshine (:
at least in the heat, we can still go to the beach, we can still go out of the house.
what about the people in alaska? i think about how much they would want the sunshine we have here.
as i was drawing my geometry of the earth and sun, i realised that at certain times of the year, the north/south pole experiences 24 hours night and day.
so i've learnt to APPRECIATE THE SUNSHINE IN SINGAPORE and STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT IT! (:
we don't know how fortunate we are.


i found this that i think they're inspiring and they remind me of the little things that i was taught as a little child that i sometimes take for granted.

i watched a very heart wrenching short clip on youtube today and i started tearing cos i suddenly felt like i let my HeavenlyDaddy down because of the people around me.
though my actions don't show it, my thoughts of destroying His temple were there.
it's evident in my life that i do sometimes take Him for granted.
but THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN ANYMORE. i'm learning to appreciate everything created by His hands and my actions will show the pure love that comes from Him.

(:
i feel a lot happier now.
i found my joy (:

:(

today's one of the WORST days in my life.
but thankyou ziwei, weijun, vanessa and huisin for being there for me during lunch and forcing me to eat despite my lack of appetite. (:
thankyou ade for calling just to check on me (:
thankyou nigel for sitting at coffee club over muffins talking to me about life just to attempt to cheer me up. (:
thankyou guoyao for offering a listening ear and telling me that i can always call you if i need a friend. (:
thankyou elaine for checking on me and giving very good advice and listening to my sorrows. (:
thankyou everyone who saw me at my weakest and told my friends to care more. (:

it's really these little gestures that mean so much to me.
though it didn't really bring my spirits very high, you'll see me in better shape through the days.
i promise you this.

for now, my mid terms are SCREWED.

anyhoo, i spend the whole of yesterday meeting up with people whom i haven't seen since goodness knows how long.
i met caroline, rachel, nigel and arael yesterday at the canteen (: yes they're my lovely pageant people! (:
spent my 6 hours break talking to everyone in school while i waited for rachel to finish lessons at 6.
good and bad and terrible stuff came out.
i had dinner with the lovely rachel tann and wen jia yesternight at holland village after school.
we ate like pigs. seriously.
headed to another part of holland v to literally talk about everything.
they're laughing at me cos i can't be a nanny for arts pageant next year. bums.
anyway, i enjoyed my time thoroughly with them.
and i'm definitely gonna meet up with them and have more heart to heart talks soon.

once bitten twice shy.

all the pain i feel,
everything i'm going through.
only because i love you.
because of this simple fact,
i'm not leaving you, i'm not going anywhere.

goodbye economics!

i've dropped economics! (:
farewell, you did me proud at the A levels but i just don't get you in the university.

the penalty for dropping:
- a 'W' grade in our transcripts
- paying of $1560 (excluding tax) back to the goverment! :(

it's damn alot of money.
but why did i drop it, cos if i get an E or an F for this sem, i'll have to retake it next sem with 5 other modules! :(
plus, even if i get an A for econs next sem, it'll just be a D grade.
i understand nothing they talk about in class, my classmates are vocal and i'm lost.

my parents have offered to fork out that sum of money for me with no strings attached.
but i'm going to pay them back.
i'll shop less and maybe look for a job.
babee's the sweetest ever! he's offered to work and pay of my "loan" just so i can focus of my studies (: but no dear, i'm going to pay it off with your moral support! (:

my girlfriend&i are taking 4 modules now. she's dropped her political shite.

i've concluded, i'm not fit for anything to do with mathematics. i should just stick to being a pure arts student. but for some reason, I'M PROUD TO BE ONE! (:

toodles.

i miss you, come back soon.

sarah low
ex-mgs-pjc
nus fass
facebook

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